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When you have given birth to a child, most especially your first issue, it changes the way of life (culture) of the family, including your sexual life. There are some popular myths concerning sex after pregnancy which may be very wrong or right depending on the person involved. Most women normally say that it is after the birth of their babies that they find out an extraordinary sensation, while some say they couldn’t continue with their sexual life. It paused after giving birth to their first babies.
A certain sexologist on questioning of a young mother who just gave birth to their first child found out that many couldn’t help running away from sex till after one year of their childbirth; while some were able to carry on within the first year after childbirth with their sex life just as it was before delivery. Twenty-three percent of new mothers continued with their sex life after three months of birth, thirty-two of them starts after six months of birth, while forty-five of young mothers would take a complete one year and even some months to start having sex with their husbands.
Some women detest sex from twelfth week of their pregnancy, or they may not have sex with their partner immediately they find out that they are pregnant, it takes like a year and a half or two years before they rekindle their sex life again.
When can you start back your sex life after childbirth?
Gynecologists think that you should resume sex after six to eight weeks of childbirth. However, it’s your decision to make. After giving birth, check the way you feel. If you find yourself perfectly okay, to resume your sexual life will not be a problem. Startup with it not minding if it’s up to six weeks or not. However, ensure that it would not bring harm to you by visiting your gynecologist before continuing with your sexual life. Having an examination after childbirth should be after one month of giving birth. If the gynecologist finds out that all your internal organs are healthy and the changes of the postpartum have stopped, then he or she will ask you to go ahead with your plans after the examination. If it should be in turning, then keep away from sex till your next checkup in two to four weeks time.
Why don’t you enjoy yourselves earlier?
Having sex after six weeks of childbirth is forbidden for some important reasons:
- Bleeding from damaged tissues: The area where the placenta was removed from are still fresh and open wounds, so bleeding can start if the man starts having sex with his wife since, by six weeks, the scars of the delivery vessels are not yet healed.
- Infection: The woman can contact infections because of the open wounds from their childbirth. The infection contacted by the uterus can cause inflammation known as endometritis. This is one of the most challenging complications in postpartum.
- Restoration Time: The standard time of restoration to normal functioning of the uterus after your natural childbirth is precisely after six weeks. If you had your delivery without problems, there wouldn’t be anything like complications or medical intervention, because the uterus will go back to it normal stature before the birth. It will shrink on its own, and the injured tissues will get healed before then. So sex can start later. However, if you insist on having it earlier, it may have medical issues you cannot handle.
- Surgery: For women who can’t give birth in a natural way, but through surgical operation may have to stay away from sex for a longer period of eight to nine weeks, at times more than expected. This is because the length of time will allow their stitching wound to heal and also prolong the chances of early pregnancy. Many reports on this issue arise because of that. Moreover, it can be detrimental to their health.
Are there always problems associated with this?
The answer to this question is capital yes! It is always the first problem in the family! Men are always of the opinion that the wife wants to use such an excuse to punish them. It usually creates heated arguments and in some cases infidelity cases.
The woman might categorically state that she won’t engage in sex after the difficulties of childbirth. She will want to concentrate on the baby which is natural. The instinct of motherhood is always having a more significant influence on the woman until the child is ready to stand to its feet. This will reduce her sexual feelings towards her husband, and that is a problem.
Another aspect of it is that she will be so exhausted after taking care of the new baby in her life that she will not even remember the partner. The man will feel neglected and might start feeling jealous of the child. If he happens to ask for sex, the wife may bluntly say no and find the request offensive. This will cause loneliness, isolation, and depression to both partners.
Other cases might be that the woman feels she is no longer attractive, she is different now, she is dry, or she is afraid of another pregnancy. These cases are normal and can be treated with much understanding from the male partner.
Solutions to the problems
- These are psychological issues, and researchers in that field have come up with an answer to that which states that the sooner a couple resumes their healthy sex life after childbirth the sooner the restoration of a stronger affinity towards each other.
- Sex is not the ultimate. Even if you are not starting immediately, you can always keep the attraction going between two of you. Say some few words to each other to keep the relationship going. Then if you are really good, you can have sex anytime there is a chance. Don’t use anything as an excuse for not having sex!
- Keep yourself attractive. Also get lubricants that have no adverse side effect on your vagina. Your doctor can prescribe some contraceptive remedies against pregnancy that will not disrupt breast milk too. Stop thinking that you are different. If he loves you, he will understand! Also, most men don’t care anyway. You can’t stop being afraid if you don’t get started!